Uncle Albert

Jo's Uncle died recently after a couple of strokes. The funeral was yesterday, I had a day off work, and so did Michael. I hadn't had the chance to get to know him well, but I will find out more about him because he has written down his life story. He was a dedicated member of Basildon URC and had worked for much of his life with the Boys Brigade. Christian funerals are different to other funerals I've been to, I suppose that its down to the belief that there is more to come and that the person we have lost is not gone forever. We have recognised the contribution he made to the lives of those around him - particularly his Children and grand Children, and also his more distant relatives and friends. I'm looking forward to reading his life story.
In the evening Liz, Jo and I went to The Ship.  The meal we had there was very nice, if slightly more expensive than I was expecting.  Over the meal, we discussed how we might further celebrate Jo's birthday, as we haven't done much yet.  Read Liz'z blog for details.  If we do, it will make for some excellent pictures.

Our prayers are with Albert's family and friends as they come to terms with his parting.

Internment of Ashes

The day starts with recording the voice mail messages to say I'm not in the office. We move through breakfast and the other general 'getting ready' activities. I dashed to church, and sent of the copyright report, then back home. Everything goes into slowdown mode. We arrive early, and there's lots of time to spare and little to do. At the time I'm bored, impatient, but constrained by events not to show it, or go and do something different. We meet at Great Burstead, with the rest of the family ... and wait. The graveyard is just down the hill from the church. It is a cold bright Autumn morning. The plot is just a little further down the hill to the left, a reasonable enough position near a tree (not a willow). The short service is nevertheless quite moving. I notice the boys imitate my posture (that was weird, I thought they'd got it by now.) We remember Bill, and the various times we were with him, much more for some than others. For me the memories are still sad, and I see the same in the faces around me. We prayed the Lords prayer together, but its the old ("Our Father who art in heaven ...") version. The boys don't know it, as I taught them the new one ("Our Father in heaven ...") but they try. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a small sample symbolically thrown in the hole to 'cover' the remains. Another goodbye. Probably not the last.

Then its off to the country club (where Andy works) for lunch. We arrived at 11:30, so more waiting around, about 12 we order. The food is good and the conversation lively, mainly about my niece and nephew, but a little about headstones at first. Andy & Mike know all the staff, and we are well looked after. At last we have met their boss.

I could be asked to do this in a few months after I'm licensed. I don't feel anywhere near ready. Does anybody when they first start? Does anybody ever? Today's vicar was well prepared, professional and friendly. So many are brought back to church (or even into it) by the right things said at a time of loss. We have to have faith that God will get us through it, and the Holy Spirit will give us the words - there is no other way.

Funeral (5 May)

The funeral was conducted by Frances Drake from St. Giles. It was a brilliant send-off. There were so many people from all sorts of different things that Dad was involved in. The little chapel was full and there were people standing and people who could not get in. Frances gave a good picture of the man I knew. It is so important that a good picture is given, and that the right values are presented - that way everyone has something they can take away - more than they came with. After the service, and meeting people outside, it was back to the football club (Billericay Town), where Dad spent so many Saturday afternoons. One of the tributes was left on the pitch, we should have a photo of that, at least, but we didn't take a camera. So now we talk about him, to keep our memories alive and at the front of our minds, while we try to get used to not having him around. A blog is not a fitting place for a tribute, it's not enduring enough. There will be other tributes and memorials that will last longer. I'll note them as and when ...