Internment of Ashes

The day starts with recording the voice mail messages to say I'm not in the office. We move through breakfast and the other general 'getting ready' activities. I dashed to church, and sent of the copyright report, then back home. Everything goes into slowdown mode. We arrive early, and there's lots of time to spare and little to do. At the time I'm bored, impatient, but constrained by events not to show it, or go and do something different. We meet at Great Burstead, with the rest of the family ... and wait. The graveyard is just down the hill from the church. It is a cold bright Autumn morning. The plot is just a little further down the hill to the left, a reasonable enough position near a tree (not a willow). The short service is nevertheless quite moving. I notice the boys imitate my posture (that was weird, I thought they'd got it by now.) We remember Bill, and the various times we were with him, much more for some than others. For me the memories are still sad, and I see the same in the faces around me. We prayed the Lords prayer together, but its the old ("Our Father who art in heaven ...") version. The boys don't know it, as I taught them the new one ("Our Father in heaven ...") but they try. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a small sample symbolically thrown in the hole to 'cover' the remains. Another goodbye. Probably not the last.

Then its off to the country club (where Andy works) for lunch. We arrived at 11:30, so more waiting around, about 12 we order. The food is good and the conversation lively, mainly about my niece and nephew, but a little about headstones at first. Andy & Mike know all the staff, and we are well looked after. At last we have met their boss.

I could be asked to do this in a few months after I'm licensed. I don't feel anywhere near ready. Does anybody when they first start? Does anybody ever? Today's vicar was well prepared, professional and friendly. So many are brought back to church (or even into it) by the right things said at a time of loss. We have to have faith that God will get us through it, and the Holy Spirit will give us the words - there is no other way.